Rose-a-Lisa from Chester
'Thank you for changing my life'
Wow, still can't believe it! I know this was only a fun competition but to me it was so much more.
When my brother left us in 2012 mine and my family's world was torn apart. I lost my confidence, my belief in the world, the universe and in everything I'd ever known & thought. I didn't let myself grieve because I couldn't handle facing the truth so I pushed myself in my work, opened the studio & entered competitions to keep my mind busy.
Over these last couple of years I have been in a dark place & struggled so much mentally, I was so scared of everything and so vulnerable, I didn't recognise myself and didn't like myself very much.
Last year on stage at Miss Pole Dance UK Professional Female Singles it all went wrong & I had an emotional breakdown, yep right on stage in front of 700-800 people including all the UK Polers I admire and respect.
Everything went wrong on that stage, I remember looking out to the audience thinking I didn't deserve to be on that stage, I wasn't good enough and everyone in that room knew it too. It was such a hard experience and knocked my confidence even lower but it made me realise I couldn't carry on and needed professional help.
I've been having counselling since January and it has massively helped. I'm starting to discover who I am and I have a place to talk about my brother and how fucked up I am because he's not here any more.
So I entered Pole Beat to try and get some of my confidence back and to see if I actually loved performing like I used to or to see if it was time to give it up and find something else.
I absolutely loved being on the stage, thank you so much to everyone in the audience/backstage/competitors who cheered for me, you all have no idea how much you have helped me, it was the greatest feeling ever to have people believe in me.
Thank you so much to the judges Kay, Stacey, Annie & Laura, your smiles were so encouraging. To Kay for being such an incredible Lady and creating so many amazing events and incredible opportunities for pole people.
Most of all thank you to all my amazing friends, family & pole instructors for never asking questions, who've listened to me & held my hand when I've cried. And a huge thanks to our wonderful dancers who have stuck by me and helped the business to grow in to the amazing little family it is.
I know I've not won the worlds or an oscar 😂 and I still have a lot of work to do on myself but I've won hope. Life will never be the same without my dear brother but I'm starting to feel hopeful for the future
http://www.misspoledance-uk.com/pole-beat-battle-2015.html
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